


The F-Word

by JacklynnHyde



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Homophobic Slurs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 17:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13463394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacklynnHyde/pseuds/JacklynnHyde
Summary: "The first time some called Alec that word, he was out on a mission with Jace, Clary, and Izzy."Alec faces the bigotry he'd been preparing himself to deal with for the first time.  Set between Season 2A and 2B.  Serious use of homophobic slurs (although there is a clear resolution).  If this sort of language is triggering, I'd recommend reading something else.





	The F-Word

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone interested, this story spawned from a discussion I had with a friend about the ingrained homophobia in our society and the way it can affect people, particularly those who are still trying to get comfortable with themselves.
> 
> Again, this fic contains the use of homophobic language. If this is likely to upset you, this probably isn't the story for you.

The first time some called Alec _that_ word, he was out on a mission with Jace, Clary, and Izzy. Magnus and Alec had been dating for just over a month and even the thought of it made his mouth turn up in a small smile, no matter how inappropriate the timing. Magnus had taken them both to Marrakech to celebrate. Still, the fact that he and Magnus had been openly together for that long and no-one at the institute had said anything particularly abrasive (to his face, at least) left Alec with this tension in his gut and he went about his life in a constant state of anticipation. He knew, from the beginning, that sooner or later someone would slip and say something; would try to use his sexuality against him, make it a weakness.

He and Magnus had talked about it before. After two weeks of feeling like he was walking on eggshells at the Institute, Alec had slumped down on the sofa and confessed to this persistent anxiety. Magnus had sat beside him and listened with sympathetic eyes as Alec detailed all the things he’d heard people say about 'people like him' in the past; the words they’d use, the rumours they’d spread, all of it. He laid it all out before Magnus, his frustration growing the more he spoke before he cut himself off abruptly, leaning forward to put his head in his hands. An exasperated sigh passed his lips before he mumbled into his palms, “I wish they’d just get it over with rather than not say anything. At least I could _do_ something about that.”

Magnus had given him a small smile and moved a little closer to him, resting a gold-nailed hand on Alec’s knee. Alec liked it when Magnus wore gold, although he could quite admit to himself why that was yet. “Darling, I understand what you’re thinking. After all, I’ve lived most of my life with half of my sexuality considered an abomination. But, Alexander, have you considered the fact that perhaps they don’t think those things anymore?”

Alec’s brow furrowed, and he looked up at Magnus. “What do you mean? Didn’t you hear what I just said?”

“Of course, I did, Alexander. But everything you just told me was said before anyone knew about you.” Alec opened his mouth to counter him, but Magnus raised a finger, placing it just in front of his lips like he had that first night Alec had stayed over. Recognising this for what it was, Alec shut his mouth again and Magnus smirked before continuing. “And I know you think now they’re just keeping all their prejudices to themselves, which I must admit is a possibility. However, it’s also possible that you’ve proven them wrong.”

Magnus turned his body fully to face Alec, tucking one of his legs under himself so he could look at the Shadowhunter properly as a spoke. “Think about it, darling. A strong, wildly handsome, young man you’ve lived and worked beside for years, who has never shown himself to be anything less that competent and professional in his duties, turns out to also be gay. Now, faced with this new information, they have to come to the conclusion that being gay has no effect whatsoever on this Shadowhunter’s ability to operate. Then, as a result, they shut-up and leave him alone. Although, I might add, not alone enough to spend more than a few hours at a time with his very lonely and neglected boyfriend.”

Alec huffed a laugh before stretching out and leaning back into the sofa, staring up at the ceiling which, today, was painted a tasteful shade of burgundy. “I think you’re giving them too much credit.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

Alec laughed again, the corners of his eyes scrunching up in mirth, and he looked down to see Magnus smiling softly at him. The thumb of the hand still on his knee rubbed small, soothing circles into the side of his leg. Alec smiled again, more genuinely this time, and took Magnus’ hand in his. “Thank-you. For listening.”

“Of course.” Alec leaned forward to press a short, chaste kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. Pulling back, he found Magnus with his eyes still closed and a small, happy smile on his lips. The contented expression filled Alec with a sort of warmth he was beginning to become familiar with and, in that moment, he decided that there are other things he rather spend his time with Magnus doing than complaining about what other people might or might not think about him.

\--//--//--

After talking to Magnus, Alec got better at ignoring the pointed silences that always seemed to follow him around the Institute. Whenever he became consciously aware of the stares or whispers, a small voice in his head repeated what Magnus had said that evening; _it’s possible you’ve proved them wrong_. So he pretended, day in and day out, that those silences, stares, and whispers came from a place of embarrassment at being proven wrong rather than any other, more hateful cause. However, Alec was, by no fault of his own, a naturally pessimistic person – although if anyone had asked him, he would have phrased it as being realistic – and so some small part of him was still preparing for the inevitable outburst; the coil in his gut having loosened, but not untied.

And yet, despite being a self-proclaimed realist, Alec had forgotten that there was life beyond the Institute and the little bubble of Magnus’ apartment. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He hadn’t forgotten, per say. It was more that he figured it was very unlikely his sexuality would be relevant when he was out in the Mundane world, doing his job. This small oversight meant that, when he was out on a mission, surrounded by people who cared about him and had no problem whatsoever with his ‘lifestyle’, he’d been caught completely off guard.

\--//--//--

The mission itself didn’t even involve mundanes. A patrol had found signs of demon activity near a group of nightclubs and, when they’d looked into it, they found that a group of shax demons had been preying on nightclub patrons for a few days. Alec cursed himself for not noticing the pattern of disappearances and made sure he, Jace, Clary, and Izzy made up the team tasked with taking them out. Thanks to a bit of careful planning – and Alec’s handling of Jace’s act-first-think-later complex – they managed to ambush the demons when they came out from where they were hiding, presumably to hunt. The fight lasted no longer than five minutes but, after having stood watch for nearly two hours waiting for signs of movement, they were all more that anxious to get back to the Institute.

The four of them holstered their weapons, glamoured them, and deactivated their invisibility runes before starting the walk to the subway. Jace, Alec, and Izzy had figured out, after a few awkward encounters, that being in enclosed spaces with mundanes while invisible often caused more problems that it was worth. However, on this one occasion, it had the opposite effect.

It was mostly Izzy’s fault, Alec would later conclude. After all, she was the one who had been talking loudly about how much fun some of the clubs they were passing looked; even going so far as to make them detour three blocks so she could have a look at some new place she’d heard had just opened. If she hadn’t been so keen on clubbing, Alec wouldn’t have had to try so hard to ignore her and, as a result, he wouldn’t have been looking down the alleyway they were walking past just as a young woman wandered into it.

The woman was clearly drunk, teetering in her heels in a way that made her look like a newborn giraffe. She was dressed in a way that reminded Alec of Izzy; in a tight, shiny dress short enough to show a good portion of her thigh. She had one hand pressed to the wall to support herself as she hobbled along the alleyway. Normally, Alec would have carried on, leaving her to her own devices. After all, she was hardly the first drunk girl he’d passed tonight, and she seemed to be handling herself alright given the circumstances. He’d already turned away when he heard a snap followed by the heavy thunk of a body hitting the floor. It barely even registered to him that he was moving before he was crouched beside her, listening to her muttered, slurred swearing as she pushed herself up off the ground.

“Are you alright?” The woman seemed to only register his presence just then and turned her head to look at him and the hand he was offering her. She grimaced a little in pain before grabbing Alec’s hand, letting him help her to her feet. However, the moment she tried to stand properly, she nearly fell again. Alec quickly grabbed her biceps, holding her upright as she hopped on one foot. The woman looked down at herself and started cursing again.

“Shit. Fucking shoes. I think I broke a heel.” She continued hopping, lifting her left foot so she could look at it. Alec looked down and noticed that the heel of the shoe had in fact snapped and was now hanging loosely from the sole. The girl seemed to notice this at the same time he did and started in on another round of cursing. “Fan-fucking-tastic. I can’t catch a fucking break today, can I? Shit, shit, shit. Alissa is going to fucking skewer me when she finds out I-”

“Hey!” Both Alec and the girl’s head turned to see a young man, who could only be a few years older than Alec, walking towards them. It was clear to Alec this guy had also been drinking in the way he wobbled slightly as he approached with what was most likely supposed to be an intimidating gait. Alec let go of one of the young woman’s arms, unwilling to completely let go in case she fell over, and turned to face the man, who didn’t stop walking until he was close enough for Alec to smell the alcohol on his breath. “What the _fuck_ are you doing with my girlfriend!?”

Alec almost breathed a sigh of relief. If this was the girl’s boyfriend, then he could leave without feeling like he’d left he stranded. However, as soon as that thought formed it was discarded as the man’s words hit him fully. He recoiled, an incredulous expression on his face. He let go of the girl, who put her hand on the wall to steady herself, before he responded. “She fell. I helped her up.”

The guy scoffed. “Yeah, right. You think I’m stupid? Why else would you be in an alley behind a club?”

“Because I was walking through it?” The guy shoved Alec’s chest and he resisted the urge to retaliate. He was a mundane, Alec reminded himself, and he’s supposed to protect mundanes; no matter how big of a pain in the ass they’re being. Plus, he’d seen Jace get into enough fights over girls to know exactly what not to do. Unfortunately, this man seemed determined to escalate things.

“You trying to be funny? I saw you holding her!” The guy’s face was less than an inch from his own and, despite him being a few inches shorter than Alec, he was clearly doing his best to be intimidating. Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Alec took a step back and held up his hands in what, he thought, was the universal sign of surrender.

“She broke her heel and fell. I helped her up and held her arm to stop her falling over. That’s it.” The guy laughed and got up in Alec’s face again.

“That’s never it with fucking guys like you. Always got your filthy fucking hands all over someone else girl and making bullshit excuses for it. Well I’m not some fucking pussy who’ll just stand by and let you get away with that sort of shit.” Alec tried not to laugh, he really did, but a light chuckle escaped him before he could stop it. The sound seemed to enrage the man inform of him who shoved Alec again, this time much harder than he had before. “What’s so fucking funny!?”

Alec forced the smirk off his face and shook his head, raising his hands again. “Believe me, I’ve got no interest in your girlfriend.”

The guy sneered at him. “Really? What are you, then. Some sort of fucking faggot?”

All the air seemed to leave Alec’s lungs in a single exhale. There it was, out in the open. That word. Faggot. And it wasn’t within the walls of the Institute from the mouth of someone who’s supposed to answer to him or in the voice of people he’s supposed to take orders from. It was out here, in the air of a grimy alleyway behind a nightclub from the mouth of a mundane who knows nothing about him; a man who had made an assumption about him based on one interaction. And just like that, it stopped being something he’d worked up in his head. It was real. And it’d been spat in his direction.

“What the _fuck_ did you just call him!?”

Alec could hear Jace’s voice somewhere behind him, followed by the sounds of two pairs of high heels clicking on the sidewalk. The three of them must have noticed he wasn’t with them anymore and backtracked until they found him. He couldn’t see them, but Alec could feel their presence behind him, no doubt adopting the positions they usually take before a fight. Alec moved a hand in a vague ‘stand down’ gesture as the man in front of him stepped back to look over Alec’s shoulder. He saw Jace, whose eyes contained an intense mixture of protectiveness and hatred, but let his eyes sweep over him until they fell on Izzy and Clary. The man smirked and turned back to Alec. “Go on then. Tell your little girlfriends that you had your hands all over _my_ girl.”

The air found its way back into Alec’s lungs as he sucked it in greedily. This was familiar ground; he could work with this. Standing up to his full height – and feeling significantly better now he had his parabatai at his back – he addressed the guy again. “I already told you, she fell. I helped her back onto her feet. She’s right here, ask her.”

It was as if only at that moment the man remembered that the woman was there, and he turned to her where she stood, leaning against the alleyway wall. The woman was clearly not entirely sure what was going on, her entire focus being on trying to keep her balance long enough to stand upright without needing the wall for support. But when she felt all the eyes on her, she looked around at them with the slightly glassy expression of someone who’s had a little too much to drink. She furrowed her brow in concentration as she tried to figure out what was going on and then, as if a lightbulb had switched on behind her eyes, her face lit up and she grinned. “Oh! Do any of you have any gum? I need to fix my shoe!”

She lifted the foot with the broken heel and waved it around to illustrate her point; or she tried to before she became so off balance that she started tipping backwards into the wall. Izzy and Clary both moved over to her, concerned in a way Alec assumed had something to do with knowing what it was like to be a drunk girl in a strange situation. Or, Alec mused, it might have something to do with the fact that neither Alec or Jace could help her without antagonising this guy further. Turning his attention back to the man, Alec pointed over at the girls. “See? Her heel's broken.”

For a second, the man’s face changed; as though the realisation that he was wrong finally dawned on him. However, something in him – Alec assumed it was either the alcohol or the false bravado this guy was exuding – refused to back down and he squared off with Alec again. His face twisted into a snarl and he put his face less than an inch from Alec’s. Then, just loud enough that they could all hear him, he hissed at Alec, “Get the fuck out of here before I break your fucking fag face.”

The speed rune on Alec’s side was still active. That was the only explanation Alec had for how fast he moved. One moment this asshole was up in his face, the next he had his arm painfully twisted behind his back with his face ground into the wall. He cursed loudly, trying desperately to move away or throw a punch behind him but Alec stood tight at his back, barely exerting his strength as he held the guy in place. It took a few seconds before the guy realised he was trapped, at which point he started talking.

“Get the fuck off me, you fuck! Fight me like a man! Or are you a fucking homo. Gonna get your fucking boyfriend back there to beat me up?”

“Keep talking, I dare you,” Jace growled from behind them and Alec turned to face him.

“It’s fine, Jace.”

“It’s not fine! He-”

“Jace!” Alec met Jace’s eye and there was a moment of tense silence before Alec added, “I’ve got this.”

Something in Alec’s eyes must have convinced his parabatai and Jace took a step back; staying close enough that if something went down he’d be able to fight, but just far enough away that he didn’t appear to be an immediate threat. Alec turned his attention back to the asshole he had shoved against a wall who, clearly lacking an instinct for self-preservation, was still talking. “I bet you are a fucking faggot. Bet this fucking gets you off doesn’t it? Tell you what, you fucking let me go and I’ll let you suck my cock, how about that?”

The guy let out a pained groan as Alec pressed him harder against the alley wall and twisted his arm tighter behind his back. Alec leaned in so he was talking right beside the guy’s ear. “I am going to let you go, but that is only because I don’t have time to stand around here all day listening to you curse. I’m going to go home to my _boyfriend_ and you are going to get the hell out of my sight. Got it?”

“Fuck you!” The guy squirmed again but Alec tightened his grip, causing him to howl out in pain.

“I said, got it?”

“I got it!” Alec let go and took a step back, letting the man droop against the wall before turning to face Alec. He looked as though he was about to say something when he caught sight of Jace where he was just behind Alec, and the two girls glaring at him from their positions either side of his girlfriend. Rather than say anything, he spat in Alec’s face. He realised his mistake the instant Jace’s fist landed in his gut, followed shortly by Izzy’s foot across the base of his spine. He doubled over immediately and Jace took a step forward, intent to continue, but was stopped by Alec’s arm around his bicep. He looked back at Alec, who was wiping the stranger’s saliva off his face with his sleeve.

“It’s not worth it, Jace.”

“The hell it isn’t! You heard what he said about-”

“I heard.” Alec’s eyes held the kind of intensity Jace hadn’t seen since before Magnus came into their lives; the intensity that denoted a long-held fury within him. “But the Clave won’t let you get away with hurting a mundane.”

“I’d say it was justified.” The two men turned to look at Izzy, who was standing with her arms crossed just behind the doubled over man. Alec swallowed, meeting her eyes before he answered.

“They wouldn’t.”

“Alec-”

“No, stop. I will _not_ sink to this. And I won’t let either of you.” Alec looked between Izzy and Jace, imploring them with his eyes to do as he asked. After a few tense seconds, during which the only sound was the pained whimpering of the guy in question, Jace let out a sigh and some of the tension left his shoulders. Alec turned his gaze quickly back to Izzy who had uncrossed her arms and gave him a small nod before walking back over to the woman and Clary, crouching down beside them.

“Here, I can fix your shoe.” From seemingly nowhere, Izzy pulled out a stick of gum which she handed over to the woman. The woman grabbed it, putting it in her mouth and chewing furiously before taking it out and sticking it where the heel had broken. With Izzy and Clary’s help she was able to push the heel back together and stand on her own. Izzy gave here a pat on the shoulder and leaned in as if to whisper a secret, although her words were loud enough for all of them to hear. “Between you and me, I think you can do better.”

She cast a pointed look at the woman’s boyfriend where he was now kneeling on the ground, clutching at his stomach. The woman, as if suddenly realising what had been going on the whole time, nodded gravely. “I think you’re right. Tyler, we’re done. Don’t call me.”

The man, Tyler they now knew, didn’t seem to hear her. His now ex-girlfriend, with a slightly wobbly gait, walked over to Alec as she was fishing through her small purse. She came to stand right in front of him as she fumbled through the bag before finally making a small sound of triumph and pulling out a small packet of tissues. She took one out and attempted to wipe it over Alec’s face, although all she managed to do was lightly slap him with it. Alec huffed a laugh and took it, wiping it over where the man’s spit had landed. The woman then put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in slightly too close before saying with the most sincerity a person in her state could manage, “I hope your boyfriend is very pretty and makes you happy.”

Alec laughed properly this time and smiled down at her. “He is and he does.”

The woman nodded solemnly before patting Alec on the shoulder, moving to walk past him. Just like that, the four shadowhunters were alone in the alleyway with one, groaning man. Alec turned to Jace who looked as though he was trying to figure out whether or not it was alright to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Alec took the decision out of his hands and motioned for Izzy and Clary to follow him as he started walking. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I need a shower.”

\--//--//--

After checking in his weapons at the institute and taking a brisk shower, Alec had made his way over to Magnus’. It was late, well past midnight, when he got there and a part of him wondered if he should have come at all; it wasn’t as though they had plans for the night. Still, Alec was exhausted and, if he admitted it to himself, longing for Magnus after the day he’d had. Plus, he knew his boyfriend was always happy to see him and, with that in mind, he used the key Magnus had given him on the door and let himself into the apartment.

He didn’t want to call out just in case Magnus was already asleep, but as soon as he closed the door behind him he heard the soft patter of Magnus’ bare feet on the floor. Alec was taking off his boots beside the door as Magnus approached him, all soft hair and plain skin with a gentle smile on his face. He greeted his shadowhunter with a gentle kiss to his lips. “Hello, darling.”

“I know I didn’t say I was coming over and I know it’s late but I just-”

“Alexander.” The sound of his name in Magnus’ voice cut him off mid-thought and he looked up from his socked feet to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. Magnus was smiling that smile he reserved just for Alec; a delightful mix of infatuation, amusement, and exasperation. Magnus placed a hand on Alec’s neck, over the deflect rune, as he cupped his jaw. “You know you are always welcome here.”

Alec smiled, leaning forward to catch his boyfriend’s mouth with his in another gentle kiss, placing his hands on Magnus’ hips, feeling the silk of his pyjama pants beneath his fingertips. As soon as the kiss broke, Magnus pulled Alec into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around Alec’s shoulder and threading one hand through his hair. Alec went willingly, melting into him and pressing his face into the crook of Magnus’ neck. The scent of sandalwood shampoo washed over him and he sighed, pulling his boyfriend even closer and closing his eyes as he let himself relax for the first time in hours.

After a few long moments, they pulled apart as Magnus grabbed Alec’s hand, pulling him towards the bedroom. _Their_ bedroom, Magnus had called it yesterday, and just the thought made him smile. When they got there, Alec took in the dishevelled state of the bed, frowning. Magnus always made the bed with his magic when he woke up, which meant… “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Magnus looked back at him, recognising immediately what Alec was referring to and sighed. “You didn’t, my dear. I was already awake.”

“But-”

“Isabelle called me.” Alec froze. Of course she did. Alec took a shower at the Institute; that would have given Izzy more than enough time to call Magnus and tell him what had happened. A part of him was frustrated by it, after all he could take care of himself and he didn’t need Magnus to protect him, especially if that meant waking Magnus up in the middle of the night. However, another smaller part of him was relieved because, left to his own devices, he wasn’t sure if he would have managed to tell Magnus about what had happened without stumbling over his words or cutting out thing he didn’t want Magnus to have to hear. Alec huffed a laugh. That was probably why Izzy called in the first place.

“Look, Magnus. It’s fine, really.” Magnus pursed his lips into a tight line and Alec let go of his hand, making his way over to the dresser where he kept a few pieces of clothing, digging through it to find something he could sleep in. He changed in silence, painfully aware that his boyfriend hadn’t moved, and was watching him from his spot by the door, with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Magnus only spoke again once Alec was dressed.

“I think we both know it isn’t fine, Alexander. Izzy told me what he said to you.”

“Did she?” Magnus sighed, uncrossing his arms. Alec wasn’t looking at Magnus, instead carefully examining the bed as he sat down on it.

“Well, she didn’t use the exact words, but she gave me a pretty clear idea.” Magnus walked around the bed to sit beside Alec, curling one of his legs up under him. He reached out, grabbing one of Alec’s hands from his lap and began playing with his fingers. “What I’m asking you is if you’re ok.”

Alec sighed, looking up at Magnus and smiling weakly. “I’m fine, Magnus.”

It was a lie and they both knew it, but Magnus didn’t push. He just started rubbing circles into Alec’s hand, waiting. Magnus never pushed. That was something Alec had learnt very early in their relationship. Unless Alec gave explicit permission that something was okay, Magnus would always wait for Alec to move first. A small gesture that somehow managed to set him at ease. This was Magnus. His wonderful Magnus who has never made him feel anything but safe and cared for; who wouldn’t push but would simply sit, holding his hand, for as long as Alec wanted. He knew he could ask him to drop it but somehow, that feeling of warmth and safety made Alec talk.

“It caught me off guard, is all.” Magnus didn’t say anything, he just kept stroking Alec’s hand, so Alec continued. “I thought…I thought I’d hear that at the Institute. I wasn’t expecting to… It doesn’t really matter though, does it? What I was expecting.”

“No, not really.” Magnus kept his voice soft and conversational, but his words held a weight Alec could feel thickly the air around them. “Bigotry and ignorance have a way of turning up in the most unexpected places.”

Alec made a non-committal sound in the back of his throat, looking down at their joint hands. “Some part of me wishes it was at the Institute. I know how to handle the Institute. I know how to react. I would have been prepared to say something or…or _do_ something. But when he…I just…froze.”

“It’s an understandable response.”

“No it isn’t, Magnus.” Alec sighed again, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before he continued. “It shouldn’t be. I’m a solider. I shouldn’t just freeze up, especially over something as stupid as a _word_.”

“It’s not stupid, Alexander.” Alec opened his mouth to protest but Magnus’ other hand came up to cup his jaw, encouraging him to look at Magnus. When he did, Magnus’ glamour had dropped, and those beautiful cat eyes were staring at him with such intensity that Alec almost shied away. “Take it from someone who has been called so many things in their long, long life. Words are not stupid, and they are not something to be brushed aside.”

Oh. All the air left Alec quickly as he remembered just what those eyes meant. He forgot, sometimes, that the world didn’t all see Magnus the way he did; as someone beautiful, caring, and gentle. So many, including people he knew, saw Magnus as nothing but a demon or a monster. And somehow those words regained all the meaning they had lost growing up as a shadowhunter. Suddenly he understood the power those words could have, even over someone as powerful as Magnus.

On instinct, and a desire to apologise for all that Magnus had endured from both his own people and anyone else who dared to try and hurt him, Alec leaned forward to claim Magnus’ lips in a brief, sweet kiss. He felt his boyfriend smile against his lips, but when they pull apart again he couldn’t see any trace of it remaining on his face.

“Alexander, I want to ask you something. And what ever your answer, I want you to tell me the truth, can you do that?” Alec’s brow furrowed in confusion, but he nodded his assent. Magnus met his eye again. “If Isabelle hadn’t called, would you have told me what happened tonight?”

“Yes.” Alec barely hesitated in his response, but he was quick to add, “But I wouldn’t have…I wouldn’t have told you in as much detail as I’m sure Izzy did.”

The side of Magnus’ mouth curled up in a smirk and he huffed a laugh. “Yes, she was incredibly detailed in her retelling.”

“I bet.” Alec let out a small laugh alongside Magnus’ before the serious tone reclaimed them both and he continued. “I just…I wouldn’t want you to worry.”

“Alexander, I’m always going to worry.” He paused for a long moment before adding, “although I will admit, Isabelle and I agreed that this… _gentleman_ in question deserved a lot worse that you gave him.”

“Maybe,” Alec mused, sensing from the shift in tone that Magnus was willing to let this go, at least for now. He started moving back so that he could get into bed, with Magnus echoing his movements. “But I think he got enough. After all, both Izzy and Jace got a hit on him.”

“Yes, and I hear the lady who started all this wasn’t too impressed with her boyfriend’s behaviour.” Alec let out a laugh as he pulled back the covers on the bed, getting beneath them and falling back against the pillows.

“No, she wasn’t.” The two shared a small laugh before Alec remembered something else about his night. With a grin, Alec turned onto his side so he could look at Magnus. “Do you know what else she said?”

Magnus tensed, casting a quick glance over Alec’s face before relaxing again when he saw the somewhat goofy smile on his boyfriend’s face. He matched it with a smile of his own. “What did she say?”

“She asked if my boyfriend was pretty and made me happy.” Alec’s grin widened as Magnus let out a loud burst of laughter, throwing his head back against the pillows. Magnus continued to chuckle for a few second before speaking.

“Well, what did you tell her?”

“That he is the prettiest thing in the world and he makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.” Alec was exaggerating and they both knew it, but the soft smile the words put on Magnus’ face made it hard for him to regret it. Magnus moved in closer to Alec, snuggling up to him so his head was curled into the taller man’s chest, just beneath his chin. Alec could feel the gentle puffs of his boyfriend’s breath on his collar and he wrapped on arm around him, holding Magnus close to him.

“You make me so happy, too.” The words were mumbled into Alec’s chest and he smiled, pressing a light kiss to the wild tuft of black hair. The hair tickled his nose as Magnus looked up at him, his eyes serious. “But if anyone says anything like that to you again, I will portal them into the crater of a volcano.”

Alec huffed a laugh before ducking his head to kiss Magnus, whispering against the other man’s lips, “I love you.”

Magnus smiled warmly back at him. “I love you, too.”

They curled back up together beneath the cover and as Alec held Magnus against him, he couldn’t help but remember something he’d said to Magnus, in the heat of the moment, before they’d gotten together. _You just don’t get it._ How wrong he’d been because Magnus understood perfectly. And he’d just stood there, letting Alec tell him that he couldn’t understand what he was going through; what he would be risking to try and have Magnus in his life the way they both wanted. Now, looking down at the man in his arms, Alec could barely believe he’d been so stupid.

Yes, there were consequences. His parents’ anger, the Clave’s disapproval, the silences and looks that followed him around the Institute. All those things that he’d catastrophised in his mind came true and yet, somehow, they didn’t. He still had his runes, he was still a shadowhunter, and he was still on his way to running the Institute. The only real difference, the only one that mattered anyway, was that he had Magnus. Alec pressed his nose into Magnus’ hair and breathed, which prompted Magnus to snuggle even closer into his chest, until their legs were tangled beneath the covers. He smiled into his hair, pressing a gentle kiss to it.

This moment, this life he’d let himself have, wasn’t easy. But he was happy, and that was worth everything that came with it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos always welcome and appreciated.


End file.
